Our true commitment
by fibbermegee
Summary: my 17th story-Beckett, excited to be getting married to Castle lays her head on his shoulder while they wait in line to get their marriage licenses. When their turn is called, she pops her head up and then collapses into Castle's arms...


I thought of this story when I saw a picture of the two of them, (with her head on his shoulder too cute). Anyway, hope someone enjoys it.

our true commitment  
June 7th  
by fibbermegee

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**NEW YORK CITY HALL: inside, Beckett and Castle are excitedly waiting in line for their marriage licenses. **

Beckett turns away from the clock. Smiling at Castle, she was one step closer to getting to walk down the aisle with her one true love. In a few days their lives would be complete. They would have beaten the impossible. _Only a few more people to get out of the way,_ she thought as they stood in line.

"T-minus 72 hours until we are officially married." Beckett rests her head on Castle's shoulder. "This feels like a dream."

"That's because I'm so dreamy." She could feel Castle chuckle as they move up a person. It was good to be here. She closes her eyes and takes in his scent. The scent that she was used to waking up next to, most days.

"Next!" a clerk yells, "Come on down." looking at the two of them next in line, she adds "Let's get you married."

Castle glances his eyes at Beckett who still has her head on his shoulder and her eyes closed. "I guess today wore her out." he said smiling at the clerk.

"Beckett that would be us..." Beckett's head pops up and then her eyes roll back. "Beckett?" She collapses and Castle has to catch her in his arms. He lowers her down gently so she doesn't hit her head on the floor. "Kate? Look at me, stay with me." his voice fills with panic.

"Sir if you want..." the clerk at the desk points to the clock on the wall.

"My fiancée just collapsed," he takes his eyes off of her to look at the clerk "And all you care about is going home. What kind of person are you?"

The lady behind the window ignored the comment, placing her closed plaque up on her station window.

"Kate? sweetie." He puts one hand under her cradling her and rubs her face with the other. Tears flood his eyes. He's not registering much of the commotion in the background as he couldn't think about anything else but Kate, laying so lifeless in his arms.

"Come back tomorrow." he thinks he heard the lady clerk say as she walks out the front door. Just leaving the two of them there. Beckett somewhat moves, in his arms. A great big grin goes across his face.

"Beckett stay with me girl, stay with me." Castle grabs her up and rushes her out the door to his car, racing to get her to the hospital. He burst through the emergency doors carrying his bride-to-be. "I need help!" Castle shouts.

"What do we have?" A uniformed man came running up to them.

"I don't know, she just collapsed..." he sniffs, glances down at her.

"Let's get her on a gurney," a man in scrubs calls, rolling one towards them. Castle places her down. "I'm..." Castle breathing heavy tries to catch his breath so he can talk. "I'm..."

"I know that you 're scared sir but I need you to step away from her and sit." the man points to some chairs that are up against a wall.

"She's my fiancée." he finally got out just before his mother's voice rings. "Richard."

"Dad." Alexis answers. He turns,"We heard," They run straight to him and into his arms.

"How did you?" he questions, glade that they were there with him.

"It's all over the news, that a cop collapses in the courthouse, and is rushed to the hospital by her fiancée. We knew that it could only be you and Beckett. Was this related to her shooting?" Martha rambles on.

"I don't know, they aren't telling me anything, they just took her back there." he points behind him and swallows.

He's still holding them as a figure steps through the doors. "You called him didn't you," Castle smiles at his mother. "I did, I had too, I couldn't..." Alexis adds, he hugs his daughter tighter. "I would want to know if something,"

"That's my girl," Martha eyes Castle, "Okay other girl." she smiles, letting him go.

"Where's Katie? Where's my daughter?" Jim questions trying to stay calm but he remembers what happened last time they were in a hospital.

"You're the father?" a doctor asks walking up to him.

"Yes," the Dr takes Jim a little ways away from the others.

"She's resting, we are giving her fluids now, she just...got light headed, from either getting over heated, stressed out or not eating or a combination of the three. You may see her when we get her moved to a room." The doctor takes a few steps, leaving Jim.

"What about me?" The Dr. turns around to look in Castle's direction.

"And you are?" He shakes his head.

"Richard Castle, Her fiancée."

"Family members only." Dr walks away.

"I'm her family." Castle shouts back.

"Not till the 'I do's', you're not."

Jim who is facing Castle, nods then mouths, 'I let you' to Castle before he follows the Dr.

"Thanks." Castle calls out loud, the Dr turns to him shaking his head.

**Beckett's room 007: Later on**

Beckett is in a hospital bed, looking worse for wear. Awakes to see her dad sitting in a chair next to her.

"Dad." her voice sounded weak.

"Yes, sweetie, what is it?" She lefts her arm and notices the tubs coming from her vein.

"Where am I?" She pats the bed under her arm. "Why am I here and not." he eyes bolted wide open, swallowing "Where's Rick," twists her head quickly taking in her surroundings.

"Calm down. You're in a hospital," Jim puts his hands out to her to hold her back some. "You collapsed at the courthouse. You're fine. Castle," Jim still hasn't called him 'Rick' yet, "Is sitting outside in the lobby, they wouldn't let him in here."

"Why?" She glances at her father with a confused look on her face. He was her family to, well almost. She sighs, at the thought. _Almost. _This was another set back for them. She let's out a slow long sigh.

"Don't worry about that, I told him. I would allow him in here as soon as you were awake." he shifts in his chair, "I promised him, so I'll get the guard to get him for you."

**Outside in the lobby, after being summoned by a guard that Kate was awake asking for Castle.**

"Ironic isn't it?" Castle says with Martha and Alexis in tow walking towards his fiancée's room.

"What?" Alexis catches his words "How so?"

"007 always got the girl," he responds making light of her room number.

"Dad?" Alexis responds, shaking the thought.

"Lucky number 7 then?" He lifts his eyebrows.

"Stop joking," Martha adds staring at her son. "This could be serious,"

"Sorry I'm." Castle responds with an apologetic tone in his voice.

"On edge."

"Yes," He takes a deep breath. "Something like that." Castle passes uniform cops guarding the entrance to where Beckett is. "Why so many?"

"Press everywhere," LT answers him.

"Thanks for the heads up." Pats the man on the shoulder. "I guess we popular," The guards just smile as Castle steps into the entrance of her room.

Jim, her father is sitting at her bedside. She watches Castle step closer and her face brightens. She's still groggy and it's reflected in her voice.

"Hey, Rick."

"Hey lover," he mouths.

Jim stands, "I'll leave the two of you alone." as Castle comes closer to the bed.

"Take care of her," Jim winks at Castle as he moves so that Castle could sit. Beckett caught meaning of that wink.

"Dad!" Castle could see that she was getting embarrassed, even blushing at her father's actions.

Castle grins then adds, "I will sir." Castle shakes Jim's hand. "She can count of it." He tilts his head towards her and lifts his eyebrows. She couldn't help but chuckle at the both of them. As soon as Castle hears the door click behind Jim, he leans down and kisses her softly on the lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," she swallows, "You keep staring at me. I must look … really bad."

"No, not at all baby." He intertwines his fingers through hers.

"I'm just concerned, you did collapse in my arms,"

"So I was told. I..." She takes a deep breath.

"That doesn't matter, you're okay now." He sat down in the chair. "And hopefully get you home soon, so I can watch you." Castle saw that look on her face, one that told him that she had something else to say to him. Something that she was struggling with. She lets her eyes close and let's out another sigh.

"I have to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I think..." she turns her head some, then tries to wiggle to get more comfortable.

"Yes," Castle was getting concerned was she backing out of their wedding now?

"I think..."

"You already said that." he reminds her, with a simi-giggle, to lighten the mood that took over the room.

"Castle," she dragged out his name, that told him he was to shut up and let her finish. "I think..." a short pause. "I think I'm already married."

"What?" He turns his face to look at her, "What I think that you hit your head." She shuts her eyes.

"Rick, I'm serious..." she swallows, and continues with what she was going to say, "In my dream." She starts.

"Let me stop you right there." He held up his hand.

"I know your going to say Castle, that it was just a dream, that it means nothing.. but what if..." She sniffs turning her head from the man that she loves, that man that meant everything to her. "It wasn't...I mean... I think that I did..."

"Did what?" He questions her.

"Marry someone." She looks back at him.

"What?" He blinks, did he hear her right. "And when was this suppose to be?"

"15 years ago."

"Say that again,"

"15 years ago, I..." she swallows, blinking back tears. She couldn't believe that she was telling him this, but he did have to at least be aware if it turned out to be true. Then she would lose the one thing that meant the world to her. He finally spoke again.

"How does someone get married 15 years ago and not remember being married? I mean I guess it could happen I suppose," he touches her face, making her look him in the eyes. "And here I thought you were the 'one and done type of girl.'" He pats her leg.

"Castle this is serious, what if..."

"Listen to me Kate, it was all just a dream."

"More like a nightmare but I don't think that...that part was."

"What? You got married without me? How is that even possible, I have been right here the whole time?"

"Stop it, I'm being serious here I don't..." tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"I'm...I'm sorry," he brushes his lips across hers, trying to comfort her. "I didn't..." He runs his hand through her hair, "Tell me why do you think that you are married..."

"15 years ago as you know I was a freshman at Stanford. I just lost my mother, the year before..." Kate was blabbering on. "Madison,"

"The one friend that I met."

"Yes anyway she just left me too and I was alone, I wanted to be close to someone."

"You mean?"

"Yes to all of it, ...I'm ashamed."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." he lifts his eyebrows.

"I went out drinking and parting. Rogan and I."

"That was his name? What kind of name is Rogan?" ignoring him she went on.

"We thought it would be fun...we thought it was for fun. I mean...we were having a good time, that night."

"You..."

"Just say it?"

"Say what?" he took her hand in his again.

"Fine if you wont I'll." She took a deep breath hesitating for a second. "I was stupid..." Castle knew people did stupid things. He sure the hell did at that age but wasn't going to say that about her, not about the woman he was hoping to be marring to soon.

"Of course marriage is fun," She glances him a questioning glance. "That's what is suppose to be like. Two people sharing...sharing it all with each other." He was hoping that she would understanding the underlining of his words. Cause that's what they were doing right now, sharing part of each other lives as painful as it was. He was glad that she was opening up to him about her past. "Kate you were..."

"I knew I was never going to..."

"Have what you had before, a family." Castle supplies to her, knowing her too well, that he could read her thoughts and finish her sentences before her.

"Yes, how did you?"

"I felt that way once. To tell you the truth, I think that's why I married Meredith. I thought it could make us whole. You know with Alexis on the way and all." He never shared that secret with anyone.

"I just thought fate was being cruel to me. I became..."

"Walled up..." Castle couldn't believe his own hears. He couldn't believe he said that to her, but it was true. She had shut down when her mother died.

"Yes," she wiped at a tear that was forming in her eye. "I blocked everyone out the walls went up short of speak, it was hard for me to..."

"Let anyone special in." she grinned shaking her head slightly. She knew that he was talking about himself.

"Me and Rogan O'Leary were both loners, outcast, as I called myself. We get drunk sometimes when parting. One night we went to Vegas. We had too much to drink and we went through a drive through wedding chapel. We thought at the time it was say cool. I thought that's the only way I could..."

"Fill the void in your heart." She closes her eyes for a few seconds.

"To feel love of any kind." She sniffed, "The chapel said 'feel the love', so..."

Castle chucked at that one. "You must have been really drunk to think that." he laughed again, he couldn't help himself.

"I..."

"I take it that your dad has no clue, about this trip?" Beckett shook her head.

"He has no idea. At the time I didn't think that it was important to tell anyone, I even blocked it from my memory."

"Apparently,"

"I didn't think it was real...I don't remember a lot of things I did when I was drunk. I bet there are more. I never... we never..." She hesitates.

"You never what?"

"Got any paperwork and if we did it I didn't see any."

"Did you?"

"What, sleep with him?" She turns her head after he asks her that question. Well, she actually asks but still. He knew that he had hit a nerve with that one, and wished that he had never asked it but he was just going with the flow.

"I take that as a yes." he answers for her.

"No, not after that night. Well, not that I recall. And that's not something that I would forget."

"Beckett," she lifts her eyebrows at him. She knew that that one would get a reaction out of him.

"After a couple of days I found out that he was a compulsive liar, and a thief. We broke up. Well, I did. I told him I didn't want to see him any more. He made a joke that was not the way to treat a husband. I just laughed at him and thought he was lying again. He dropped out and moved away the next year, near came back to campus, I never saw him again. I was back to being a loner, and I was happy. I started my studies doing research on my mother's case. I knew that I never...find someone to be close to again, so I buried myself in my work. It was safe, a way to say get away from having to feel."

"Till we," Castle laid his head next to hers, "Meet," she shook her head. His smile fades.

"What?" He lefts his head.

"Not yet..." She takes in a deep breath knowing that last comment hurt his ego. "Till I read one of your books," Those words took Castle aback some. "After reading a few, and standing in line so I could get one signed. I figured your characters got revenge so why couldn't I? I wanted revenge bad for the people who took my mother and love away from me and the best way..."

"To do that was to become a cop." he added, honored to be part of the chain of events that made up her life. Made her who she was meant to be and now he knew, that their lives had always been connected.

"To be able to solve my mother's case, I knew that I never be close to someone till that was done. Till I was able to get some answers on my own. I worked hard and before long it was all that I did do. It was eating me from the inside. Making things worse."

"Montgomery said you never gave up and that's what drove you to be a good," She twisted her head to look at him, with her death glare. "Great cop. One that got justice for a lot of people."

"He was right, I learned that it was going to destroy me. So I let it go... till." Castle know this time she was going to say that it was him.

"I met you," she leaned over and he got the idea and kissed her.

"Your personal hero,"

"Well, I wont go that far." she commented just to see the reaction on his face. "You opened the case up against..."

"You knowing, yes I did. and I don't regret it for a minute. I..."

"You...and I..." she winked, "We made the perfect team." A tear slid down his face, that was true in so many ways. They were. He was a big part of her life.

She finally admitted it and now it was all going to be taking away from her. She starts to cry, felt like her guts were going to be ripped out along with her heart.

"Kate, don't cry. I'll never leave you, if that's what you're thinking about right now."

"But what if..." he breath came out in little huffs, "What if I'm...I'm still married to another man, will you still love me?"

"Love you?" his voice became a little louder. "I never stopped, since day one." He kisses her hand, then her lips, "Look we will deal with this together okay we'll get you a divorce. It won't be a problem. Look Kate nothing is going to stop us from getting married. Delayed, pushed back maybe, but not stopped."

She sniffs 'that's..." she swallows lost for words. He wasn't mad with her, he was willing to help her, to over look her past.

"Why you love me." he poked fun at the situation again.

"Castle," she took in a deep breath, "What if we can't find him?" Panic in her voice arose, "Then what... will I lose you?"

"Relax, no you wont and we will find him. And like you said a piece of paper doesn't make you married it's..." he points and places his hand on her chest. "It's what's in you heart." He reaches across her, takes her other hand, places it on his chest. "I know what's in mine. And I know you know what's in yours."

"If that's true..."

"We've been married for..." Castle starts to count silently. Then looks at his watch.

"6 years already," Beckett responds. Watching his actions today, that's exactly how she felt. She felt that they were the two that were already married to each other. Like a real married they loved, cried and always had each others backs, even through all their fighting, they seemed to find their way back to each other.

"That's my girl you keep thinking that and stop all this worrying. Everything will work out." 'it has to', he said the last part under his breath.

"But we..."

"Only consummated it 2 years ago, yes and what a day that was. especially..."

"Castle shh..."

"It's not a secret any more."

"Not everyone has to know all the details."

"We know them and when we get you out of here, we could do it again, again, again."

"Like a repeat?"

"Sure why not...repeat of that day,"

"Why wait?"

"What?"

"You said we are committed to each other, so prove it." She begs.

"Prove it? How?"

"Make love to me..."

"Now," he stares at her. "In a hospital bed? I don't think..." although he wouldn't turn her down any other time. This was just awkward.

"Why not, be adventurous. We can always call off the guards, turn out the lights, close the curtains and lock the door."

"Beckett, Beckett, Beckett." He wiggles his fingers at her.

"And I have a naughty nurse outfit."

"Now, you're just being cruel to me."

"Come over here and find out how cruel I can be."

The door clicks and a Dr interrupts them. All worried again, they both stare at him like he's an alien.

Seeing their facial expressions, "No worries," he calls. "We are getting you release forms ready and then you can go home. You just got to stress out, relax some. Take sometime for yourself." He leaves the two of the alone again.

An evil grin crept across Castle's face but fades when Beckett opens her mouth.

"You heard him no stressful activities."

"I can unstress you," he glances looking from one end of her to the other. "All of you."

**the end**

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This was a little pick me up from the others that I have just finished. I hope that someone got a kick out of it. I had fun writing it. Tell me what you think!


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